Force of Nature

I ducked under the breakfast room table just as a carving knife thunked into the wall where my head used to be. I reached behind my back and tried in vain to pry off the cookie sheet sucked tightly against me.

“IS YOUR ATTRACTION REALLY SO HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE?” Jess shouted at me through the slatted doors of the pantry.

“YES, BECAUSE I AM NOT MAGNETO!”

“APPARENTLY YOU ARE, NOW!”

The doors to the lazy susan shuddered and the silverware drawer rattled in its frame. I tried to make myself into an even smaller ball among the chair legs. “WHAT DO WE DO?”

“YOU MAKE IT STOP!”

“Sure,” I muttered into my knees. “Because I have any idea how to control it.”

I shrieked as the lazy susan door crashed open, and the spinning shelf inside began flinging pots and pans across the kitchen. They slammed into the chairs around me and stuck there, unable to get through and unable to escape my inexplicable magnetic pull. But hey, now I had a shield if the forks got free and headed for my eyes.

“HOLY CRAP, I’M GLAD WE DON’T KEEP CANNED GOODS IN THIS PANTRY!” Jess yelled. “MAYBE WE CAN REVERSE YOUR POLARITY OR SOMETHING?”

“YEAH, THAT SOUNDS SUPER SAFE FOR OUR NEIGHBORS!”

The oven door banged open and the floor rumbled beneath my body. Pipes groaned.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “We are so screwed.”

Submitted for Thursday Threads, 285 – Weird, Wild, and Wicked.
Required Phrase: “Is your attraction so hard for you to believe?”

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